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Breakups suck. There’s no sugar coating it — no matter what side of the breakup you’re on, it’s never fun. If you’re the one doing the breaking you’re nervous and maybe even a little guilt-ridden about hurting someone. If you’re the one being dumped it sucks all around, especially if you didn’t see it coming. You want to rage and bitch and smear the other person’s name with vengeance, but that’s (obviously) not the mature choice.
You should still choose the high road in a breakup, and opt to react with grace. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be hurt and pissed off. Of course you do. However, those feelings don’t need to be broadcasted everywhere you go. You can get through the hard stuff without making yourself look like a complete mess. Here’s how.
Save Your Meltdowns for Your Mama, Your Diary, and Your BFF
You don’t want to be the girl drunk crying in the bar bathroom because she saw someone who kind of, but not really looks like her recent ex from across a row of tequila shots. You also don’t want to be the girl incapable of talking about anything other than her jerk ex-boyfriend who broke her heart three months ago.
You’re absolutely entitled to feel the way you feel, but the fact of the matter is that not everyone cares to hear about it ALL the time. Your family and friends have their own problems to deal with, and they might even be more important. For this reason, I try to avoid the self-indulgent pity parties as much as I can. If you feel like you’re overwhelmed by emotion, consider therapy. Talkspace, for example, offers therapy from the privacy and ease of your computer so it’s like you’re messaging your BFF.
Journals might seem silly, but they’re actually the key to keeping your emotional shit together. Whatever woe-is-me feelings you have can be written out there in all the details and whining you want. It gets it off your chest so you can better function, and also doesn’t burden anyone else with your issues. You’re a strong, independent woman, and I promise you can survive a breakup without talking about it to anyone and everyone who will listen.