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Netflix and Amy Sherman Palladino gave us the greatest Thanksgiving gift of all: A Gilmore Girls revival. It’s perfect, you’re already off work, it’s not technically a holiday, so you’re free to watch away! There’s just one hitch — for a lot of families, the day after Thanksgiving is still designated family time.
In an ideal scenario, your entire family would be just as into watching Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life ASAP as you are, from your infant nephew to your octogenarian great aunt. Unless your life is something straight out of a modern fairy tale, though, that’s not the case — which means you’ve gotta ditch ‘em. I know you love your family. I love mine too! But a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do, and this year, that means watching Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life (at least Fall!) as soon as humanly possible — and playing our drinking game with it, of course.
1. “I think I’m coming down with something. *cough*”
This excuse isn’t particularly inventive, but it IS effective. No one wants your germs on their three-day holiday weekend. Sinus infections, colds, and sore throats are all believable go-tos. If you want to make things interesting (and burn some bridges), you can always claim food poisoning.
If you’re from a family that doesn’t really “do” Black Friday, just say you’ve caught the craze. A popular Black Friday shopping strategy is to wake up before the crack of dawn, shop til ya drop, then go home and take a nap. This is a good chunk of time that can be used to watch Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life with your family none the wiser.
On the other hand, if your family is way into Black Friday, just say you’re sitting this one out. Cyber Monday is like Black Friday without all of the people, after all! Like I said above, Black Friday shopping is a serious time commitment, so while your family is shopping, you can cash in on some serious TV time.
4. “Someone needs to go feed the dogs — I’ll be back!”
If you don’t have a dog, then cats, goldfish, pet rabbit, horses, or any other pet will do. Obviously this only works if you a) have pets or b) can convincingly lie about having a pet. Preferably “A.” This excuse doesn’t buy you as much time as the others, but with some creativity, you can make feeding, watering, and “walking” your dog take 90 minutes — and that’s a start! Just make sure you actually do feed and water your dog because this excuse only works a few times.
Sure, you ate a lot, but you treat your body like a temple. At least as far as your family knows, you do. If the weather allows it, hop out for a nice walk (with your 4G on and your headphones in). Ideally, you’d be able to meander on down to somewhere with WiFi, but if you can’t it’s still #worthit. What else do you use your data plan for, anyway?
By now, we all know that turkey contains tryptophan, which makes you sleepy. We also know that eating too much makes you sleepy. Together? Perfect napping excuse. Except instead of napping, you’re going off to watch “Fall.” This one even works if you’re staying with family. Just sneak your laptop into the guest room with you — but don’t forget to bring headphones.