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Until the fateful day beginning your 25th year, aging doesn’t seem like an issue. You’re still young with the whole world at your feet and the liver of a champ. And then you wake up on the morning of your 25th birthday and suddenly you realize you’re old. Everything you think you know about your life has changed. It’s an emotional whirlwind you don’t see coming.
With this birthday come some truths that rock you to your core.
1. You’re actually an adult.
You’re far removed from your teenage years, and don’t even have the grace of undergraduates to make you feel younger.
2. You’re halfway to 50.
There’s no sugar-coating it. You’re a quarter of a century old, and you’re only getting older. Death is more than just a myth — it’s a guarantee.
3. You actually need to be a responsible person.
It’s sobering to accept you have no choice but to be responsible now. You can’t be nonchalant about paying your bills or monitoring your credit score anymore.
4. You can’t use “young and dumb” as an excuse.
At 25, you feel the full weight of shame after making bad decisions. You can’t shrug it off and say you’ve got to make some mistakes to learn once you’ve reached your mid-twenties. At this point, you should have made your fill of mistakes.
5. It’s no longer strange to consider buying a house.
House hunting and mortgages sound like such a big, scary adult thing until you turn 25. Because now it’s not totally crazy to want to settle down in a place you own.
6. You’re a reasonable age to get married.
Oh wait, you aren’t too young to be engaged, throw a wedding, and commit to one person for the rest of your life. Holy moly.
7. You’re not too young to become a parent either.
Before 25, you can’t imagine having a child because you feel like a child yourself. When you turn 25 though, you realize that you actually aren’t a child and could be a parent without anyone else batting an eye. In fact, it’s expected.
8. Cheaper insurance really isn’t that exciting.
You hear this over and over before your 25th birthday, but you know what? That’s not really what you want for your birthday. You want your 16-year-old metabolism and a vacation from work.
9. Birthdays are no longer that exciting.
You have no birthdays to look forward to now; they’re just a sad reminder that you’ll never be 21 again.
10. You need to take romantic interests seriously.
When you bring home randos just for fun, your friends will start to judge you. Now you have to look for someone to settle down with, otherwise you’ll feel ostracized.
11. You can’t drink like you used to.
Slamming back tequila shots is just a distant, fond memory now.
12. Your body’s metabolism is starting to slow down.
And the waistband of your jeans are feeling it. Salads and daily exercise are the only thing that will save you from the body you’ve always dreaded.
13. Tired is just a normal, daily feeling.
At 25, you give up the hope you’ll wake up well-rested one day.
14. Wine is preferable to shots.
Something about turning 25 makes you want to savor the alcohol you consume rather than use it just to black out. The burn is too satisfying to waste.
15. You can’t ask your parents to handle everything anymore.
Yes, you have to call the doctor yourself when you turn 25. No, it doesn’t become any less terrifying.
16. Your parents were right.
At 25, you have to admit you should’ve been listening to them all these years. It would have saved you a lot of headache.
17. You need to save more for retirement.
The golden years don’t seem so distant when you’re a quarter of a century old. So now the pressure’s on to save as much as possible.
18. Acne is still a problem.
Unfortunately, this is the one adolescent thing you’re allowed to keep as you get older. Waking up on your 25th birthday to find a pimple smack-dab in the center of your chin is frankly the most depressing realization of all.
19. The bar isn’t as fun as your couch.
Meet at the bar at 11 p.m.? Yeah, you’re not down for that anymore. More like a good documentary, glass of wine, and bed by 10.
20. Those wrinkles aren’t going anywhere.
So you might as well start naming them because they’re in it for the long haul.
21. You actually will grow old.
May your youth rest in peace.
22. Empty liquor bottles are no longer cool decor options.
For some reason, you don’t want to boast about how often you drink once you turn 25. Probably because it would scare your mom.
23. Buying furniture is so much fun.
Couch shopping? Yeah, that’s your new version of Sunday Funday.
24. The time to achieve your dreams is now.
It’s kind of depressing to realize you’ve turned 25 and still haven’t achieved most of your dreams. Like your retirement fund, you know time is running out to get ish done.
25. You still have a long ways to go.
Even though you’re 25 years old and feel ancient, you also know that you’re nowhere near where you want to be. You still don’t know anything.