The Ultimate Thanksgiving Drinking Game for Nasty Women

This post originally appeared on Nasty Woman Wines.

Thanksgiving is a time to gather together with family and friends and reflect on that for which we are grateful. It’s a time to embrace tradition, break bread together, and celebrate abundance. But let’s be honest, it can also be a time of being under the microscope of your judge-y Aunt Judy or getting jaw pain from clenching your teeth too hard while your uncle mansplains sexual harassment to you. But guess what? At NASTY WOMAN WINES, we have a wine for every occasion, every dish on your Thanksgiving table, and every biting comment from your mother-in-law. Here are the rules of the Nasty Woman’s Guide to Thanksgiving Drinking. Drink:

When You’re at Friendsgiving

Whether you’ve skipped out on family Thanksgiving all together or you’re doing a sequel to Thanksgiving with your pals, Friendsgiving calls for Progress Pink, our Unapologetically Refreshing Oregon Rosé, for so many reasons. First, you’re probably day drinking and you need something that will help you go the distance. Second, you’re with people that you get along with and everybody is chill.  It’s pretty much like how rosé goes with everything and everybody likes it. It’s good with turkey. It’s perfect with cranberry sauce. It’s delicious at 10am.

GET PROGRESS PINK, $15/bottle, $13.50/wine club members

When a Well-Meaning Family Member Serves Up Backhanded Compliments Like They’re Seconds of Pumpkin Pie

Whether you’re 21 or 51, there’s always that one family member. You know the one. They comment on your job/relationship/parenting/appearance/dietary restrictions with that little extra sprinkle of judgement. Who cares if your Aunt Carol is worried that you aren’t getting enough protein because you’re vegan or if Granny says your kids “sure are spirited” for the third time.  Their opinions are their problem. You need Pave the Way Chardonnay, our Unapologetically Engaging Oregon Chardonnay, to pull you in for a soft, gentle hug and tell you that you’re perfect and to just do you.

GET PAVE THE WAY CHARDONNAY, $20/bottle, $18/wine club members

When You Realize You Really Need to Stop Eating, but These Mashed Potatoes are so Good and THERE IS GRAVY. And Stuffing. And One More Roll. And You’re Going to Hate Yourself in 20 Minutes.

We’ve all had that moment during a meal. You know if you just pause and wait, that you will be full soon. But the food is so good and Thanksgiving is your favorite meal of the entire year. So you commit to joining the Clean Plate Club. You need our Inaugural Pave the Way Chardonnay, an Unapologetically Complex Willamette Valley Chardonnay. It’s got bright acidity that will cut through the richness of the pile of food that you are gobbling down.

GET INAUGURAL PAVE THE WAY CHARDONNAY, $30/bottle, $17/wine club members

When You Go Around the Table and Each Person Takes a Turn Sharing What They’re Thankful For

Call us sentimental, but this is one of our favorite things about Thanksgiving, after gravy obviously. It’s a lovely moment and a great reminder that we could all spend more time practicing gratitude and intentionally thinking about all that we are so blessed to have. This calls for Boss Lady Bubbles, our Unapologetically Vibrant Washington Bubbly. It’s the perfect sparkler for a special moment and it’s Riesling backbone is spot on delicious with turkey.

GET BOSS LADY BUBBLES, $20/bottle, $18/wine club members

When Someone Starts Talking About Harvey Weinstein or Kevin Spacey or John Besh or Pull a Name Out of a Freaking Hat, Because There are Too Many to List

Sexual harassment and sexual assault have had a banner year this year. Some might say a watershed moment. Women are coming out in droves to say ME TOO and NO MORE OF THIS! When this topic comes up, hopefully you don’t have any mansplainers at the table. But if you do, it’s time to put on your power pantsuit and get to work. You need Pantsuit Pinot Noir, our Unapologetically Tasty Oregon Pinot Noir. NO MORE OF THIS!

GET PANTSUIT PINOT NOIR, $25/bottle, $22.50/wine club members

When You Just Can’t Anymore

When you are the type who typically bites her tongue but your cousin is talking to the room like every single person in there agrees with him. And you simply cannot anymore. You need Represent Red, Our Unapologetically Sassy Umpqua Valley Syrah. This wine will make you stand up and represent…with a healthy dose of sass.

GET REPRESENT RED, $36/bottle, $32.40/wine club members

When Your Uncle Starts Ranting About How Football Players are Disrespecting the Troops

Thanksgiving and football go hand in hand. And this year, football and peaceful protest go hand in hand. When your uncle starts connecting a peaceful demonstration against systematic racism to a lack of respect for our troops, you need our Inaugural Pantsuit Pinot Noir, an Unapologetically Expressive Willamette Valley Pinot Noir. Its complexity and depth will draw you in (and away from arguments that don’t make any sense). It’s best enjoyed while taking a knee.

GET INAUGURAL PANTSUIT PINOT NOIR, $40/bottle, $36/wine club members

When Someone Defends 45

You need bourbon. We don’t make it, but you definitely need it. Godspeed.

When You Realize You are Going to Need Some NASTY WOMAN WINES at Arms Reach at All Times

You need to join the #GetNasty Wine Club. You get unapologetically tasty wines shipped to you on the reg, plus discounts on all your wine purchases and shipping. Plus if you’re stocking up for the holidays, you’ll save a boatload as a wine club member. Learn more about the Nasty Woman Wine Club here.

Join the #GetNasty Wine Club Now