7 Ways to Fake Having Your Shit Together

7 Ways to Fake Having Your Shit Together

Being a functioning adult is hard. Being a functioning adult in a professional setting is even harder. But being a functioning adult in a professional setting while also remembering to fold your laundry (before it wrinkles from being left in the dryer for 12+ hours) and eat something other than cereal for the fourth night in a row? Now that shit’s hard.

There’s plenty of practical advice out there on how to navigate your new life as a grownup, but for those of us not ready to give up our late-night Netflix binges and happy hours that turn into girls’ nights, the bar needs to be set just a bit lower.

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Fake it til’ you make it, right?

1. Throw on a Blazer

It doesn’t matter what you wear underneath. Whether it’s your favorite pair of jeans or the tank top you wore to bed — paired with a blazer, you can rule the world (or at least look like you can). You don’t even have to spend a pretty penny to find the perfect blazer; stores like Forever21 and H&M are filled with blazers $30 and under (so you can keep putting all your money toward the important things, like your throw pillow collection).

2. “Meal Plan”

You don’t have to buy quinoa or put together fancy salads every day to call yourself a meal prepper. Replace your Netflix binge with a Pinterest binge (just for one night, don’t get too crazy) and find some easy-to-make casseroles or freezer meals you can eat for the next few days. Even if your type-A co-worker tells you your leftover tamales don’t really qualify as “meal planning,” don’t let the haters stop you from doin’ yo thang.

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3. Stay Up-to-Date on the News

I’m not suggesting you actually watch the news or — heaven forbid — pick up an actual, real-life newspaper. That’s just crazy talk. Instead, sign up for newsletters like Betches’ SUP or The Skimm; they deliver the news straight to your inbox in millennial-speak (aka not boring, repetitive, or depressing), so it feels less like a chore and more like catching up with girlfriends.

Why is it important to know things? One, you never know when your boss or co-workers will ask your opinion on things like BREXIT or the latest dumb thing Lena Dunham’s said or done (and you definitely want to contribute to the latter discussion); two, believe it or not, there’s more to life than what the Kardashians are saying about Taylor Swift this week (not that it’s as interesting, but still).

4. Plan, Plan, Plan…and Then Plan Some More

Step one: Buy a planner. Step two: Write down all your meetings, social events, and TV shows you need to catch up on. Step three: Carry said planner everywhere you go and make sure everyone sees just how important you really are. Step four: Instagram your busy schedule (with a cup of coffee and a faded filter, of course) just for good measure. Busy = successful, right? (Right.)

5. Wake Up Your Skin

Even if you didn’t get the required seven plus hours of sleep (and let’s be real, does anyone actually do that anyway?), with the right morning routine, your co-workers will never know. Showers are the perfect wakeup call; but if you don’t have time, splash your face with some cold water, dab on some under-eye illuminator (some days just concealer won’t cut it), layer on some mascara (maybe even break out the eyelash curler), then go forth and slay.

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6. Stop Paying Your Bills

Instead of having to keep up with all the various due dates for your rent, your cable bill, and your credit card bill(s), just put that ish on autopay. It’s always a good idea to make sure your payment went through, but with automatic payments, you don’t have to set up a million different reminders each month.

7. Carry a Big-Ass Purse

And put everything you’ll ever need ever in it — makeup, tampons, bobby pins and hairbands, the works. The next time a co-worker asks to borrow some gum or Midol, you’ll be the girl who literally has all of her shit together.

Follow Elise on Twitter: @melisexo

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