How to Propose to Your Boyfriend (From Someone Who Did it Before it Was Cool)

We’ve been together for over four years. I know he’s “The One,” I’m the love of his life, and marriage was in our future. One day, I had an offbeat idea: what if I asked him to marry me? I never personally knew any women who proposed to their boyfriends, and as I expected, the bulk of online proposal advice was directed at men.

I ended up plotting my female proposal on my own, hoping my boyfriend—now my fiancé—wouldn’t think I was pulling a ridiculous prank. Ladies, if you’ve ever thought of popping the question yourself, don’t be afraid! Albeit slightly unusual, some women choose to propose. Take it from me, female proposals are no less exhilarating.

What exactly am I supposed to do?

There are aspects of a conventional proposal that are a given. He’s going to have a ring; he’s going to bend on one knee; he’s going to hope to high heaven that you say yes. Whether or not you want to adhere to the norm is up to you. I wasn’t planning to take a knee during my proposal, but I was spurred by love (and frantic butterflies in my stomach) to take his hand on bended knee.

At the time, I did not present him with a ring. However, my fiancé later surprised me by asking for one! Engagement bands for men are much less expensive than a woman’s ring since they’re typically not bling-ed out. Exchanging engagement rings is a unique expression of your mutual commitment. After all, why shouldn’t the guy have an “off-limits” ring on his finger? I’m going to slightly tweak the immortal words of Beyoncé: if you like it then you both can put a ring on it.

When should I propose?

Whenever you feel like it! If you’ve imagined your proposal to unfold a certain way, take the opportunity to create that unforgettable moment yourself. Be sure that you two are on the same page regarding matrimony. If you aren’t sure that he’s ready for marriage just yet, then it might be best to hold off. My guy and I are pretty down-to-earth, so our proposal was simple: we went to the place of our first kiss; I blushed profusely as I professed my love, and the rest? Well, the story isn’t over yet.

My boyfriend is pretty old-school. Should I just I let him propose?

Most guys don’t expect their girlfriend to beat them to the punch. Your proposal will take him by surprise, at the very least. Perhaps he was planning to pop the question at a later date or was extensively organizing something big. I can say for sure that my proposal caught my fiancé off-guard; he didn’t have an engagement ring for me, nor did he discuss the matter with my parents.

He’s a contemporary Southern gentleman, so while he wasn’t appalled by my proposal, there were two traditions he absolutely wanted to do: pay for the ring and ask for my family’s blessing. Later that day, we picked out a ring together. Soon after, he met with my family. Your boyfriend will surely have his own expectations for his proposal, so you should consider what’s important to him. Sometimes the man will propose and later, the woman proposes back.

Three weeks after I proposed, my ring arrived. My fiancé shared his words of love, culminating with a proposal of his own. In the end, we proposed to each other and announced our engagement right after I put his ring on his finger. Whether you pop the question alone or you ask for each other’s hand, remember that your proposal is no less special than his. It’s going to be a little different and quite scary, but you’ll be elated after he says “yes”. Good luck!

This article originally appeared on Alot Living.