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After my last breakup, he got the apartment; I took the cat and moved back home with my mother — where I still am today. I promised myself I wasn’t going to start moving out of my parents house until I could afford to live alone because I’m over the roommate thing. Is it because I like to walk around naked? Maybe. But it’s more that I like living in seclusion and blasting Backstreet Boys without judgment.
On one hand, I do enjoy living with my mother. It was bumpy when I first moved back home, but over time, we found our groove. It’s like living with my best friend, who also nags at me to clean my room, but on the other hand, I’m 26 and living with my mother who nags at me to clean my room. If you’re in the same conflicted situation as me, here are 6 surefire signs that it’s time to think about moving out of your parents house.
1. Excel Says So
Use an Excel spreadsheet to make a budget for yourself. Include all bills and expenditures you pay now, as well as everything you’ll have to pay once you move out. The list should include such things as rent, utilities, food, phone, car, gas, etc. Add up the total and deduct this from your monthly pay. The number will give you an idea if you can afford a place on your own and how much a month you can spend on rent. Once you’ve moved out of your parents house you’ll be supporting yourself, so you want to be sure you can afford a roof over your head and food on your plate.
2. Nagging No Longer Required
Moving out of your parents house is not just about being able to decorate how you want or living by your own rules. Moving out is more about being ready to adult. You’re ready to be accountable for paying all bills on time, for all cleaning, cooking, and laundry duties and dealing with the consequences if you fail at your responsibility.
Actually, this should be motivation to move out. Living at home can sometimes prevent you from making mistakes and learning from them, hence growing up. You have to make mistakes — like getting fined for turning rent in late — so you know never to do it again. Are you ready to be fully accountable for your actions and the sometimes unpleasant consequences they may cause?
3. Ready to Spread Your Wings
If you’re having trouble finding a job, it may be your location. Expand your search to big cities where there may be more opportunities. Even though moving may take you far away from your parents, finding a good job is an excellent excuse for leaving the nest.
4. It’s Doctor-Approved
Are you able to take care of yourself without help? Many people with disabilities or illness live independently, but this is something to consider seriously if you have a condition that requires outside support. That doesn’t mean you have to live at home forever, but maybe it means looking for a place closer to home so that mom and dad can be there when/if needed.
5. Your Bedroom Isn’t Enough
It may be time to start moving out of your parents house if you feel like you’re not getting the privacy you need or want. Bringing dates home can be uncomfortable, especially if they’re joining you and the parents at the breakfast table the next morning. Or maybe you like having friends over and drinking wine until after midnight, but your parents need you to be quiet because they’re trying to sleep. All of a sudden, you’re a teenager again, telling your parents to leave you the hell alone.
Moving out will allow you to define your own rules to live by and give you more breathing room. Space can actually help your adult relationship with your parents, because they probably don’t love having you back home all the time either. You’re set in your ways now, and if those ways clash with who you’re living with, it can cause negative energy and tension.
6. Going (Fur)Baby Crazy
After my last failed attempt at convincing my mother to get a kitten, I realized I can move out now and adopt as many cats as I want. In fact, I can breed cats and live in kitten paradise, if I wanted to. This is just an example of the freedom moving out of your parents house grants you. If you live with roommates, you will still need to compromise, but if living by yourself you can live the way you want—everyone should have a taste of that freedom because it will help you grow and become more confident in yourself. Learning how to be independent and take care of yourself is just part of growing up.