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The dating field shifts frequently as you get older. Once you’ve been out of college a few years, you have to shift your dating mindset so you can have healthy, adult relationships with people who add value to your life. Playing games and playing the field aren’t the way to find love once you’re in your mid to late twenties — that means there’s a new set of Dating Commandments to abide by.
1. Thou Shalt Not Be a Control Freak
We’re all adults here, and none of us need someone monitoring our every move. If you want to date someone, then you need to trust them to handle their own life. You don’t need to tell them what to wear, what to eat, or how to live. The only thing you should ever pipe up about is the way they treat you.
2. Thou Shalt Not Stalk
You probably don’t want someone delving into the depths of your Facebook either. The Golden Rule is to treat others as you’d like to be treated, and that 100% applies to dating and social media. Besides, social media stalking takes all of the fun out of getting to know someone. Try to actually talk to them about interests, hobbies, and dreams instead of reading between the hashtag lines. It’s much more fun to date this way.
3. Thou Shalt Not Ghost People
Seriously, this is so rude and childish. No one deserves to be ghosted. You’re a grown-up and should give your romantic interests the respectful closure they deserve. Plus, this reflects poorly on you. It’s really not that big of a deal to say “Hey, this just isn’t right, and I don’t think we should see each other any more.” You don’t want to be ghosted, and neither do your romantic interests.
4. Thou Shalt Keep Your Cool
Everyone REMAIN CALM. It’s one date — you don’t need to start naming your imaginary children. It’s only been two hours since you texted them — there’s no reason to think you’re being played. When you chill out, dating becomes so much more enjoyable for everyone involved. So calm down and relax a little bit so you don’t scare them off.
5. Thou Shalt Listen to Actions and Not Words
When you’re in your mid to late twenties, you should have ditched your high school dating habits. That includes paying more attention to flowery words instead of actual actions. It’s nice when someone says they want to take you out, but it’s more important they actually take you out. Ignore the words because only people who follow through with the appropriate actions are worth your time. No smooth talkers allowed.
6. Thou Shalt Stop Robbing the Cradle
Yes, the 21-year-olds are fun and exciting, but they are not good dating prospects. As an adult, you need to be seeking out other adults so you can have an adult relationship. You don’t want to be stuck on the merry-go-round that is dating college-aged people. It only leads to bad things. Leave them in their own age bracket for everyone’s sake.
7. Thou Shalt Give the Nice Boys a Chance
At this point in your life, you should know that looks aren’t everything. The nerdier prospects are often way better love interests in the long run anyway. There’s nothing wrong with dating a smoke show, but there is something wrong with writing off anyone who doesn’t meet a height requirement or have a six pack. Looks fade, but a good heart and brains are forever(ish).
8. Thou Shalt Demand Respect
And not waver when challenged. As a grown, independent woman, you should never tolerate disrespect or inconsideration. Stand up for yourself the first time someone disregards your feelings, and walk away forever if it happens a second time. If someone is going to disrespect you early-on, then they’ll continue to disrespect you for as long as you let them.
9. Thou Shalt Not Freak About Being Single
Take a deep breath. You’re single, not dead, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Enjoy the time you have to completely focus on what you want, because you’re going to meet someone one day. Once that happens, you can’t be so selfish with your time or movie selections.
10. Thou Shalt Not Settle for a Deadbeat
If they have no ambition, work ethic, or general zest for life, then why on Earth are you dating them? Deadbeats will only hold you back and drag you down. Never settle for a deadbeat.
Breaking these 10 Dating Commandments will cause you to suffer through miserable, heartbreaking, and stressful “relationships.” However, by following these Commandments, you increase your chances of experiencing positive dates and relationships with people who will appreciate you.